MaverikThe Clone Wars - Kid's Meal Edition
August 24th 2008 08:53
So everyone's heard what a bad movie this is by now. So in an attempt to maintain my feeble grip on the belief that I actually produce new content worth reading, I'm going to take another angle in my review. Yes, the movie is very flawed and I ALMOST walked out of it (I've yet to sit in on something bad enough to warrant actually doing this... But I was close in this film). However, it plays one card that unfortunately, in this current age of entertainment, absolves it of almost any criticism it receives... It's aimed at kids... And with that cop-out in mind, let us journey into the centre of this blight on film history...
The story kicks off about halfway through the clone wars, which in itself is occurring between episodes 2 & 3. After we are 'treated' to a brief announcement, recapping what's happened so far in the clone wars (though not really telling us much of anything), all the while sounding an awful lot like a 60's news caster reporting on how brilliantly 'our boys' are doing in the war. After this, we are thrown straight into a battle between the republic and the separatist armies. Soon enough, we are introduced to a new character... Ahsoka Tano (voiced by Ashley Eckstein). A 14 year old Togruta. The rest of the movie involves a plot to rescue Jabba the Hutt's son from unknown forces in order to try and form an allegiance with the Hutt clan to further the war effort.
Her nickname in the film is Snips. This is supposedly something to do with her height and 'hair'?
The first thing to note about the movie is that Ahsoka is in fact assigned to Anakin as his Padawan. This already takes a serious chunk out of the series continuity as this fact is very obviously missing from all future encounters. Though a little hard to swallow, we really should be used to this kind of thing, as it's certainly not the first time Lucas has changed something dramatically inside the already established timeline and called it cannon. (Vader's new Apprentice in Force Unleashed, and Luke's good friend Dash Rendar who helps him several times in defeating the empire in Shadows Of The Empire). Her character is fairly annoying in her overly 'cutesy' nature, which was my major gripe with her.
The other thing of interest to note is that this is merely the beginning for a TV series. Lucas himself has even stated...
You know, [the Clone Wars movie] was almost an afterthought — we were doing the TV series and looked at some of the episodes on the big screen and said, ''This is so beautiful, why don't we just go and use the crew and make a feature?'' So we did.
This may account for that general feeling of dislike that most movie goers received upon watching this 'afterthought'. The TV series may be better. If you can stand the over use of 'cute' nicknames used by Ahsoka, such as Anakins “Sky Guy” and R2D2's “Artooee”...
One thing purists are sure to notice is the severe evisceration of the cast. Most of the actors we knew and loved have been replaced by cheap knock off's. Anthony Daniels, Matthew Wood, Christopher Lee and Samuel L. Jackson are among the few who managed to survive the transition, though lord only knows how many of these voices will stick around for the series. Nick Jameson, who had voiced Palpatine/Darth Sidious in the animated Clone Wars shorts, as well as various video games, did not reprise his role; nor did Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker), Frank Oz (Yoda), Natalie Portman (Padme Amidala), Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi) or Ian McDiarmid (Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious in the movies). The changeover is noticeable, but it's not a 'deal breaker'.
Obi-Wan at least keeps his sense of humour, the few times he uses it...
One of my biggest gripes with the film is the Droid army. They are portrayed as absolute complete idiots, in an attempt to label them the 'comic relief' characters. Even though they are robots built and designed for war, they still make stupid little quips to each other, and both act scared and just generally moronic. It was cringe worthy...
One last 'special' mention goes to Zero the Hutt... A god awful character who no better fit the film than he'd have fit into a scene in Saved By The Bell. His voice was beyond reprieve, and I hope to heaven and high hell that he (or at least, I think it's a he) does not 'grace us' with a return performance in the series...
The Verdict: If you are or have children around the age of 10, than this is a movie to take them to see, if only so they they can wrap their supposedly vastly inferior minds around the big bad story in the upcoming TV series. (That's not a stab at kids, that's a stab at writers dumbing everything down with the 'justification' that it's for kids... There are plenty of well written children's shows!) Otherwise, I cannot recommend it. Not even to hardcore star wars fans. Just keep fondling the old cartoon shorts and keep your memories of a better time in tact.
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